THIS IS A NEGATIVE BLOG SORRY!

OK, I feel like I am a positive person! I am usually up to just about anything, and generally have a good attitude.

I also feel like the Lord gives us trails to make us what HE needs us to be. To strengthen us and polish us, so he can get the very best from us.

I am polished enough ;)

The last month or so has been tough, but really I have felt good. I have REALLY had to rely on the Lord, my hubby, and my AMAZING councilors to get through it but overall I think I came out OK.

WELL I GUESS WE ARE NOT DONE!! I really don't think all the details need to be laid out, but just know I am feeling the pressure. I know the Lord blesses my family daily and I know that we are living the way he would want us too. But the trails are getting very hard to handle and I feel my self wavering.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord. The gospel is more important to me than words can even describe. BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's all, just needed to vent. Sorry for such a downer blog, maybe tomorrow will be better!!:)

We are moving!

We are going two streets up and into a four bedroom unit! I am so excited to get the extra space! I am really sad to leave our ward. Only in Utah can you move two streets up and be in a new ward. ;) I laugh because of the new calling and cry because of the friends and relationships we have developed here. We have been in the ward since it was established almost four years ago, and I HATE to leave it.

We will be blessing Caden, in the ward the first Sunday of November then we are out...:(

Now I need boxes, and 30 hour days to pack and clean the home that I have lived in for so long. This is the longest we have ever been in a place and I have to say, it really feels like home. But more space and get this, cheaper rent, can not be looked down on!

Love you all, we are doing great. Baby is growing and sleeping like a champ. Braxton and Michael are doing well, however they have been playing more Wii then I would like, but it is a guaranteed way to keep them happy and occupied for a extended period of time.

Chad lives at the school, and my joke right now is that he is having an affair with peat mos and seeds (both are part of his undergrad research project). But he is doing well, he had a nasty fever and was sick sick this weekend, he feels like he is playing catch up, but we have faith that he will continue to do great!

That's us, love you all.

The story

Our birthing story plays out more like a pregnant woman's nightmare...I know that things could have gone worse, and I am so grateful that both Caden and I are healthy and happy. But really this time LABOR STUNK

Caden was due on Sept 6th, and we decided to wait till the 10th to take him, it was more convenient for mom and Chad. So on the 10th at 4am mom and I went into the hospital for induction. I have never dilated, thinned, or dropped with out doctor assistance. Brax was 9 days late and even then, NOTHING. So we were starting at square one. The doctor guessed that it would not take longer than 10 hours, I told him that it would and he laughed. My goal was no more than 15 hours. Well by two o'clock on the 10th I was maybe to a one, and not thinning much...that stinks. By six that night I was still no further a long and now I was beyond emotional and very discouraged. We decided to come home, and try again in the morning.

WE WALKED WALMART! I am talking EVERY SINGLE ILSE and ask chad I would not stop, a contraction came and I walked faster, I was so ready to have the baby.

Day two of the induction was much the same, we were hoping for enough progress to break my water, but by three o'clock that afternoon it was apparent that was not going to happen. I was maybe to a three, and the boy was sitting to high the doctor was afraid of complications with the cord if we broke my water at that point. I had a slight break down and decided that this baby was not going to come out till OCTOBER. The doctor said go home, and rest and to come see him on Monday afternoon. We Walked a lot again that night.

Monday afternoon, the doctor said that I had dropped and that I had softened enough to break my water. This was great news because once they break water you cant leave to hospital. On Tuesday morning we went in yet again, and sat, and sat. By three that afternoon, the contractions hurt enough for an epidural, and then they put internal monitors in and REALLY pushed the pit. We were at a 5, and sat there till about six that night. At seven I started to want to push, I was told not to, the doctor was not there and I was only to an eight and only eighty percent thinned. But by eight I could not wait for full dilation.

I pushed once. Yep you read that right, once. Dr. Newman say "OK you can stop pushing" I laughed and told him I had, Caden just kept coming. ;)

We are so great. I feel so go, no tearing, or even soreness really. I'm sure it is adrenaline but I feel good. My emotions are a bit off but that's to be expected. The boys are so good with Caden, Braxton has no interest in holding or being around the baby, but I hear all the time "Oh your so cute!" so i think he likes him. Michael wants to hold the baby, hug the baby, give the baby kisses, he wants to help so much! I love it.

to funny not to post

I work part-time as a teacher of family doctors. The program provides training on psychiatric disorders and emphasizes the importance of emotional support. The new doctors are given plenty of time in clinic to visit with their patients and learn about their challenges.

One of our interns who has never lived in Utah and knows nothing about Mormons is still struggling to understand the cultural climate here. Last week he was interviewing a new patient and stumbled on what he thought was a raging psychosis.

Doctor: "Well, Mrs. Olsen, we've talked about your high blood pressure and your medications. Are you experiencing any particular stress in your life?"

Patient: "Oh, yes! It's the Sunbeams. They're driving me crazy."

Doctor (very surprised): "The sun beams?"

Patient: "Yes. I've never had trouble with them before, but this group won't sit still. They bounce all over the room, and run out the door and down the hall."

Doctor (reaching for a pen): "Have you told anyone about this?"

Patient: "Of course. I told the president."

Doctor: "Really! What did the president tell you?"

Patient: "She said Sunbeams are like that. I'm just going to have to learn to deal with them."

Doctor (concerned that he may be missing something): "I know people who are sensitive to sun beams. Do they cause you a rash or anything?"

Patient (confused): "A rash? No."

Doctor: "What's the biggest problem they're creating?"

Patient: "It's the noise. They just won't quit talking."

Doctor (astonished): "The sun beams are talking to you?"

Patient: "Well, yes. But mostly they talk to each other."

Doctor (scribbling furiously in the chart): "I see. Can anyone else hear them talking?"

Patient (after a moment of stunned silence): "You're not LDS, are you?"

Due date is a relative term!

So today is the day. I'm "Due"... but nothing! We will go into the hosbital on Friday morning at four am for an induction. Some of you may wonder why I am being induced. I hear people say, "Just wait." "Go for a walk" "Eat something spicy." All of these suggestions are good, however let me explain something some of you might not know. My body does not go into labor. I'm talking nothing, babies don't drop, I don't dilate, and there is NO thinning. 9 days late with Braxton and he did not drop into the birth canal till about 4 hours before delivery.

So to all you people who say to me "go for a walk." I say sure I would, if I had even a hint of progress that suggested that this baby would come on its own.The big secret. I mentioned that I was stressed, and MANY amazing great friends have been more than helpful with my boys. I have just about everything ready for baby number three, and we are as "prepared" as we can be. However the source of the major stressing is a combination of lots of little stresses.

The big news that is now a know fact is...I was called as the Primary President. Now at any point in a woman's life this calling can be a big one. But if you will all refer to the message above about having a new baby in 5 days. :)I have AMAZING councilors who are so great. And I am very humbled by the calling. And SO EXCITED! Our ward has 140 kids 18 months to 11 and 97 kids in primary. It is a very young ward and we all have younger kids.

The lacking blog I posted earlier was in reference to this calling. I am so excited to see what the Lord will help me become, and so humbled to know he believes I can handle this calling. Only time will tell. We have the program in three weeks, and I will be gone with baby for the next two :) Pray for my councilors and pray for me, as I take on this amazing new calling.

A Day of Blessings

Yesterday I think my little men must have snuck onto the computer and read my last blog. They were AWESOME!!! They were obedient and listened. To tell you all the truth, they played the Wii for like four hours. But it was a necessary evil! I had to get some things done.

I look forward to the trials that are to come, and pray I can learn my lessons quickly ;) Thanks for all the great comments. And Karen, you can't say things like that to a pregnant women...I cried for like 20 min. Thank you Thank you!! I love you all.

I have just as much to do today and yesterday, if not more. But I am hoping that we can just work as a team, my little men and I, and get it all done. Wish me luck